How much we hold all at once

(letting things go... softly)

Dear friends,

Thank you for opening another Within letter. A click of the ♡ button makes a difference. So does sharing these pieces.

I knew she was coming, but she still took me by surprise: in my kitchen, late at night, a golden orange light hanging in the sky like a midnight sunrise.

It was a magical celestial occurrence combining two events: a supermoon, when the moon is closest to the Earth and a blue moon, the third of four full moons in a single season.  Although this one was more rose gold than blue.

It got me thinking about how full our lives can get, the immense amount we all carry and balance to survive and thrive in this world, how some of it can feel so much heavier depending on our inner landscape, the shape of our pain; all the shadows of the past still alive in our bodies.

It can make the process of everyday life feel overwhelming, overflowing.

We don’t always realise how much of what we’re balancing is the weight of old life, unprocessed, taking up space. We forget the innate impermanence of all things—how no moment, by its very energetic nature, is created to be held for too long. And how each new moment doesn’t always have the space to bloom to its fullest, most fragrant capacity until we pay more attention, until something so bright and fresh and full of wonder causes us to turn our whole selves towards it and open our hands to reach it.

I think that’s how it always happens, letting go: something comes along that fills us with a new shade of joy, and we soften, allowing it to come a little closer.

It’s a tender exchange—it leaves no mark.

We begin to notice lightness,

start breathing a little deeper,

become brave enough to step onto new Earth.

We allow ourselves to expand,

we place flowers in empty spaces.

Letting things be as they are

Letting something go is really letting something be... exactly as it is in this moment.

If there is heartache here, let it be here, as it is. Let it express itself as it needs to.

If there is immense grief, sadness, despair, let it be here, as it is.

Don’t judge yourself for feeling it too much or not feeling it enough; for going to the edges and not directly to it’s heart—just let yourself be as you are while allowing the emotion to be as it is.

When you are here—with yourself, in your body—like the whole gold moon in the sky, you are in a place of deep reverence—for yourself, your journey, your life.

Over time, with more practice, more presence, you will widen your capacity to sit with heavier emotions—pain that has been carried for too long.

Pain that needs to be heard, embraced, and set free.

Note to self:

I don’t want to look back at pain,
or longing, or wasted time.

I want to live so fully that I
can only ever look at what’s already here.

And if I ever look back—may it be overflowing
with the sweet scent of nourishment, wholeness.
Life.

Tender reminder:

Some things alone have the power to transform your daily life, help you become more present, more embodied.

The lighting of a candle in the early morning—being with yourself, absorbed in your body as you observe the swaying flame—has the power to create a softening within you that you can return to for the rest of the day. 

Dahlias in Chelsea, cut flowers from my garden - small joys

When things become too heavy, you are allowed to remove them from your being for a little while. Rest in the present moment.

Softly, April x

Going Within

My self-study course Going Within shares all the tools, techniques and creative rituals I undertake on a daily basis to stay aligned with my authentic self, and live a life of clarity, peace and joy. 

This is a self-study course with lifetime access to paid subscribers.

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Thank you for reading. Sending love and light, April

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